The Right to Write

Julia Cameron wrote a book called The Right to Write: An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life. Julia writes,

We should write because it is human nature to write. Writing claims our world. It makes it directly and specifically our own. We should write because humans are spiritual beings and writing is a powerful form of prayer and meditation, connecting us both to our own insights and to a higher and deeper level of inner guidance.

My interpretation of Julia's entire book is that anyone living has the right to write. That's the amazing thing about our nation's somewhat new obsession with scrapbooking. It opens an entire world for families to tell their stories to others. If you scrapbook even a little you know how important journaling is.

Another aspect to the writing life is that of blogging. This phenomenon has given opportunity to people like me who have been dreaming about becoming "inspired writers" to make this world a better place. It gives me instant access to the insights of others who otherwise would not see my writing. My friend in Italy can access the internet in Milan and read my writing immediately. My dad frequently writes short meditative essays for a Christian publication, and he emails them to California for the hard copy.

The printing press was an amazing invention for it's time, but the internet and blogging is even more significant because it can bring two parties together thousands of miles apart to exchange ideas, dreams and goals. That gives new definition to the sociological term information age. And in light of our world's need for community, hopefully these ideals will show how much more we need God and each other.

When I become convinced that I have the right to write I can hopefully display some of the courage God wants to instill in me to inspire my readers on to bigger and better things.

I'm not a great writer. I haven't even been paid to write. I just love to write, and it has been a fire in my bones to write for the past eight years.

I wonder if the kid that had a few fish and a few pieces of bread had been longing for some time to make a difference in his middle eastern city.

Something tells me that if Jesus can use a kid's lunch to feed a multitude then He can give me the right to write, and if He is indeed calling me to a ministry of writing than I don't have to keep second guessing my ability. He'll give me the ability. I'm not saying I'm a puppet on a string, but I am saying that He can do so much more than I can imagine.

I like a quote I found recently by a film and television producer named Bernie Brillstein.

In a world where celebrity equals talent, and where make-believe is called reality, it is most important to have real love, truth and stability in your life.

There's a plethora of truth found in that statement. I think Brillstein's quote addresses what man has constantly struggled with - acceptance. I want to belong. I want my life to have something to say when I'm gone. I want to be part of something beautiful, and I want that beauty to be larger than life. Millions are still searching for that beauty. Some had it, and it was taken away unfairly. Some are fighting now to get it because their parents never showed it to them, and still others have it right in front of their noses, but for one reason or the other they are blinded from embracing it.

The Evil One is alive, and to borrow some from Hillary Clinton and Jesus, it is going to take a village to battle Him.

I think ultimately what I must personally do to be all that God created me to be is not whether or not I feel qualified to do this or that, but ultimately my question must be what can I do today to love others?

There is a deep rooted sinister Being that is bent on taking as many down with Him as He can. He knows His time is limited, but He also knows how badly I want my desires to be fulfilled. If He can distract me long enough to refocus my attention on things other than God, my wife, my daughter and my extended family then His work is complete, but if I flee from that the way Joseph fled from Potiphar's wife then there is nothing He can do to me to remove me from the eternal destiny I have to spend eternity with God and Jesus.

I think if I keep that in mind in all my brokenness then He will see to it that I have the right to write.

Heroes

I read Dutch some time ago on vacation in Destin. I've always been a fan of Ronald Reagan, but Dutch made him appear even larger in my mind's eye than I had previously seen him. It was then he became a hero. I remember as a young second grader seeing President Reagan shot by a man trying to impress Jodi Foster, and I read review after review about Dutch, but none of them could give Edmund Morris his due credit for writing a brilliant presidential biography. Although the book was from my perspective exhaustive, it had memoir characteristics. It chronicled almost 100 years of history from Reagan's birth to the point in which the Secret Service were re-supplying the pool with leaves so that President Reagan would have something to fish out of the pool in California. It's been a while since I read the book, and I intend to read it again, but if I'm not mistaken Reagan's dementia never caused him to loose knowledge of who Nancy was.

Apart from President Reagan's post White House days at his ranch in California the man was a brilliant leader. He was a B actor in Hollywood, but I think that is in due part to the fact that he was fighting communist Hollywood including first wife Jane Wyman, who thought communism was the next best thing to sliced bread. Seems his destiny was anchored in preserving democracy, and he did a fine job in ending the Cold War.

If you haven't read Dutch it won't be a waste of your time. I read it on the beach in Florida, but you won't need a beach for it to pull you in from page one to the end.

Belief System

You might think that I'm questioning my Judeo-Christian upbringing by glancing at the title of this blog. That's not what is going on with this post. I did a considerable amount of reading last night on historical theology within a Stone-Campbell context.

It amazes me how life circumstances have changed my theological viewpoint. Let me add a disclaimer here however. I am not denying the virgin birth. I believe Jesus came, lived, died and rose to conquer death and give us the opportunity to accept total forgiveness for the debt we cannot pay. I believe that every believer serious about this confession will put Christ on in baptism, not because it saves him or her, but because Jesus did it, and He commanded it be done. Does that mean that those that choose not to be baptized are going to hell? I'm not going there. In the words of market-place scholar Landon Saunders, "If God decides He needs to take a break on judgement day, I'm not going to volunteer to get up on the throne to take His place."

God hasn't asked me to decide who is and isn't in. He has empowered me with the necessary information to accept Christ as my risen Lord, and it is on that undeniable principle I stake my life.

With that written, I am in awe of the way God continues to speak to me in my spiritual journey.

I went to college with the desire to become a youth minister. That really hasn't changed even though I've taken an "unorthodox" route. I got a bachelors degree in theology, and I even have a masters degree in biblical Hebrew, but I have been in the market-place for ten years now. My income has not come from the church. Many of the apostles had full-time jobs other than "ministry". Here I'm just setting biblical precedent for lay ministry. Lydia was a seller of purple. She was likely very wealthy, and I would imagine she was a big financial backer of Jesus' ministry-as was Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea.

We contribute to an Italian mission effort. Certainly not at the level that Lydia, Nicodemus or Joseph did, but nonetheless God isn't looking for a plethora of monetary resource, rather He is looking for the kind of attitude that prompted the widow to give all her earnings to the synagogue.

When I was reading last night I was struck by how some of my doctrinal views have changed. In my my particular denomination we have the past 200 or so years taken pride in the fact that we do not use musical instruments in private or corporate worship assemblies. Some of us also used to take pride in the fact that we "weren't" a denomination because we have no written creed or geographical headquarters. We certainly have our language, but each congregation is autonomous in nature, and each one does not have to be held accountable by a representative from headquarters. Each church is governed by a group of elders, and some of the congregations have deacons. This leadership model we get from biblical texts.

My views here have changed. These doctrinal areas are not salvation issues. I can differ with my other brothers and sisters and still have unity on the virgin birth, and the reality of Jesus as Lord.

I worship with a praise band every Sunday. I am in the process of learning to play the guitar for teen devotionals, summer camp and weekend retreats. I am passionate about this. I think God is calling me to do this. I love youth ministry. I always have, and I think God allows me this freedom in worship to draw teens closer to Him.

I know why our scholars don't call the Church of Christ (church of Christ - I'm not sure which one it is?) a denomination. I've been in a million discussions about it, and frankly I don't think God really cares whether we are or not. There's bigger fish to fry - namely gender identity, divorce, sex, suicide, drug abuse to name a small few.

Some will call me liberal. I like to think of myself as "progressive." If I were liberal I would have stayed in close contact with my friend who embraced the homosexual lifestyle. I would have no reservations about consensual sex between two teens as long as "they are ready." I would not think it a big deal that I have a family member that continually struggles with pornography. Those would be liberal leanings.

All in all my belief system has not changed. If I died tonight many of my loved one would regret the things I wasn't able to do, but I do know where I'd spend eternity. Is it because I was baptized? No. Is it because I go to a non-denominational church? No. It will be because I put Christ on daily in all my brokenness, not out of fear that if I don't I'm going to hell, but out of a gratitude that Christ went through Hell so I wouldn't have too.

In the words of a popular country song, "That's somethin to be proud of. That's a life you can hang your hat on."

Too Comfortable

We ran out of cash pretty quick this month. I personally think it’s because I got way to “liberal” with the spending power I had there for a while. Well, that power is gone because I spent it! I am definately the spender in our marriage.

Chloe and I went to the grocery this morning, and to give you an idea of how liberal my spending had become I’ll just say I had to visit the Coinstar at Kroger. Catch my drift? Instead of going to the envelope I went to the seat cushions. The only things we bought were Q-Tips, Charmin and Tide.

I’m thankful our cash flow met this shortfall. The blessing/lesson, what have you, has proven we can survive without Starbucks and McDonald’s. Carey and I were discussing it, and we had an epiphany together that our Starbucks and McDonald’s out-go could pay for a maid.

I’m also thankful that this recent shortfall was less dramatic than others, but nonetheless it has brought us back to biblical principles concerning finances. I love what a former boss used to say.

When your outgo exceeds your income, your downfall becomes your up-keep.

I think too that much of my spending is tied to my emotions. The more down and depressed I am the more I spend. Oh, a trip to Starbucks does wonders for my temporary mood, but when I am faced with an overdraft charge in my account I quickly become depressed.

Like millions, I think I can fill the void with things I see around me. God can certainly use a tall peppermint mocha to touch upon that spiritual void I’m missing, but He drives me, ultimately, to His loving embrace as I find that void filled by the relationship He offers me with Himself. It’s in gratitude I return again and again to the beverage He offers that quenches my thirst for all that I need.

Believing the Lies

Why do we have a tendency to believe the lies we are fed? Why do I at times base my self-worth and happiness on whether or not I'm liked all the time. I'm believing a lie to think that every relational risk I take will make a connection with another human being. This isn't heaven. I live in a broken and fallen world where people reject other people for whatever reason. It won't be that way in Heaven.

Do I just give up and act any old way I want? No, because if I do than I certainly won't be able to enjoy Heaven. I won't enter Heaven. I think my job here is to diligently practive grace, love and forgiveness, and keep on dancing. Michael laughed at David when he danced. Put it however you want - she rejected him. David was a man after God's own heart, and if he allowed all the things that happened in his life to rob him of the joy to dance, sing and play the harp than we would not have the inspirational story we have today about him.

I fight depression. Maybe you do too. I bet David fought depression. I'm not going to let depression get the best of me. Satan can throw his sharpest darts at me, but I have a Savior whose power overshadows Satan in a cosmic way. Depression may have gotten the best of me these past eight years, but God is opening my eyes to see His goodness again, and I can see now that Satan's lies are just that - lies. I like the fear acrostic - false evidence appearing real. Worldly fear is grounded in lies, and it only has power because perception is reality. I thank my Lord and Savior that He's changing my perception from that of fear and anxiety to that of confidence and peace.

He's so good. It's just been so long since my perception has allowed me to see it, but I have to say that all these things happening lately are not coincidence, rather they are a gift from God changing my world.

Beauty

What constitutes real beauty? God created it. I tend to pollute it, but I can also create beauty because I was created in the image of God. Can a woman tastefully display her body? The reason I ask is that we have been watching season one of Felicity. Keri Russell is a beautiful woman. I googled her name, and I came across the nude pose she did for Vanity Fair. Do I discount the beautiful performance she did in Felicity because I don't agree with her decision to pose nude for Vanity Fair? I think it's a legitimate question for a Christian.

I love Hollywood because they tell many great stories. There are many things Hollywood does on screen that I cannot condone. I don't think Jesus does. I don't want to be a self-righteous fear monger afraid that if I watch a rated R picture that I'm going to hell in a hand basket. Jesus came for me because I'm broken, but He also warns me to take heed less I fall. There is a line I can't cross because if I do then I will be rejecting the Savior of my life. I don't want to live eternally in Hell.

I don't think you can just say there is black and white in every existential question. There are many gray areas. There are absolutes, but in my search for beauty I, personally, have to be pretentious to a certain degree. I can't accept everything Hollywood puts on my t.v. screen, but there is a plethora of goodness that comes out of Hollywood.

The Safest Place on Earth

I'm reading a book called The Safest Place on Earth. I've been worshiping this concept since my dad was fired in 2000. I thought my parents had finally found a place to retire and call home, but obviously I assumed too much. And for some reason I took some chains that weren't even handed me. So began my struggle with depression.

About that time I decided I would go back to school for graduate work. I started in the fall of 2001, and 9/11 happened. I reacted like any depressed person would react. I tried to ignore it. It angered me because it interfered with my Hebrew class. It saddened me because I knew that many people that day did not go home. I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever find a home. I grew up in a plethora of states and Guam. My dad was just fired, and our country would soon be defeated by terrorists. Absolutely no security in my meta-narrative.

My mind became empty, and it still is to some extent. That is until I met Dr. Crabb through The Safest Place on Earth. He is teaching me to trust again. He is teaching me again what it means to "connect" in this world. He's reminding me of the love I have forgotten the past eight years, and through my wife and daughter I'm understanding better that He indeed never lets go.

I'm praying now after reading this book that His agenda become mine. These words are not new, but they are the most empowering words any human being can write. Jesus continually said, "Not my will, but Thine be done." Jesus and the Father were one. He prays daily that we will be one as the Father and Son are one. That requires a love I see very rarely. I pray that I become the change I want to see in my family, church and city. I pray that I will somehow see the importance of Christian unity, love, grace and forgiveness. I pray that as my life unfolds into middle age that I will be the kind of person people will feel safe with. I know I sin. I know I will sin again, but I know that God does not label me Depression Man. When He looks at me He sees the blood of Christ, and it's the blood of Christ that pours over my sin to wash it away.

The neat thing about all of this is that nothing can separate me or anyone else from the love of Christ. My shortcomings will not block anyone from the all surpassing power of knowing Christ Jesus our Lord. My inability to write well won't. My lack of talent in public speaking will not. My lack of guitar skills will not, and my absence from this earth will not.

It's my prayer however that I be given many years of service to reflect the safest Person ever to walk the earth - Jesus Christ. Like Jesus, I do not consider equality with Deity something to be grasped. I merely make myself available for what He is already doing, namely worshiping the Father, feeding the poor, caring for orphans and widows and helping those of us who are broken.

It doesn't get any safer than that.